There is so much rage here, and it is everything I hoped it would be.
The next day Ana goes to work, as you do, and while she’s sitting there doing work she looks up and HOLY TITTYFUCKING PENGUIN FINS CHRISTIAN GREY IS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. My reaction: Christian Grey is a fucking stalker. RUN ANA RUN. Ana’s reaction: Whoa, that is super weird, he must be in town on business! I can’t believe he just happened to walk into the store I work in! WHAT ARE THE ODDS? No one is this naive in real life, are they? They can’t be. I can’t live in a world where people are this oblivious. She marvels at this “coincidence” hardcore y’all, and reminds us once again that he is SO WAY THE SEXIEST. She compares his voice to chocolate fudge caramel. It is a horrible sentence and I write in my notes “I hate you. I hate you SO HARD” I would tell you more about what a horrible sentence it is, but shortly after it there is a paragraph with two sentences that absolutely should not exist:
1. With my heart almost strangling me - because it’s in my throat trying to escape from my mouth - I head down one of the aisles to the electrical section.
2. And from a very tiny, underused part of my brain - probably located at the base of my medulla oblongata near where my subconscious dwells - comes the thought: He’s here to see you.
WHAT. THE. FUCK. I want to throw this entire paragraph off a cliff.